Let's give us a try
by katychan666
Summary: John Watson found fanfiction about him and Sherlock... being a couple, so-called johnlock. Will this change John's relationship with Sherlock. And what about Sherlock, he's been lately ignoring John. What is up with him?


**So this is my new fanfic, I hope you'll all like it. I've been really obsessed with Johnlock lately, as I'm waiting for the new season of Sherlock. So I decided to write this fanfic. Since English is not my first language, there are a lot of mistakes here. I know.**

**This chapter is also M rated, so if you don't like it, don't read it. It's as simple as that. As for everybody else, enjoy**

**(I don't own any of the characters… obviously xD )**

John was sitting in his comfy couch, while he was writing a new post on his blog. It was about a case that Sherlock solved last week. The case wasn't very big in the media. A young woman, in her early twenties was found dead in her apartment. It was her boyfriend, who killed her, because they broke up. It was a so-called a crime of passion. However, since John was clearly very bored, he decided to write about the case and post it on his site.

Once he was done writing about the case, John looked around his and Sherlock's flat share. Their living room was again in complete chaos, because Sherlock was doing a bloody experiment yesterday. John looked up a little bit and peeked inside of the kitchen. The kitchen's table was as always full of Sherlock's stuff for doing experiments.

John rolled his eyes, because he knew that he would be the one, who will clean after Sherlock. Again. Maybe Sherlock was a genius, but cleanliness wasn't one of his virtues. John knew that he should be used to this by now, but it still bothered it sometimes.

John Watson was alone in the apartment. Sherlock went outside about three hours ago, because he was helping Lestrade with a case. This time he didn't take John with him. John was wondering why Sherlock went alone this time, but because he knew not to bother Sherlock when he's on the case, he decided not to ask any question. John knew that Sherlock won't be coming back anytime soon. And because of that he was extremely gloomy. He didn't know what to do. He was too lazy to go outside. And if he would go outside, John didn't know where he would go. John opened the TV and started switching programs, to see if anything good was on the telly. However, after a few minutes of searching, John gave up. Watson angrily closed the television and again took his laptop into his lap.

Then John blankly watched the computer screen. John started thinking. He knew that his blog was quite famous, because he's been getting a lot of emails from his so-called "fans". John didn't know if this was the right word to call those people. John knew that he and Sherlock were getting popular too. Especially Sherlock, because every time he solved a crime, the people from television would come and interview him. Sherlock obviously disliked all this attention, so it was John's job to answer those questions.

John then started wondering what were people thinking about him. And about Sherlock. Watson never cared about other's opinions, but this time he was so bored, so he decided to search the web. John opened the web-searcher and then he started thinking what to search.

_John Watson_ was the first two words that John typed into the search bar and he then clicked on the search button and waited for the web-page to load. John then started opening different pages; most of them were just news articles and interviews with him. John started reading the comments on those pages. Most of the people were writing what a good person John was. John smiled and shook his head. He couldn't believe that.

Then John typed _Sherlock Holmes_ into the search bar. Again, he received almost the same hits as he did when he typed his own name. Then John started reading the comments under an article. Some of the people were saying that Sherlock's only pretending to be such a cold person for media.

_Oh I wish he was only pretending, _ said John to himself and started laughing, when he found a fan page dedicated to Sherlock Holmes. _Sherlocklicious_ was the page called and most of the users were young, teenage girls, calling Sherlock the sexiest man on the planet and wishing that he would marry them. John didn't know what to think anymore. He knew that the girls would probably change their mind if they knew the real Sherlock.

John shook his head, because some of the words that those girls wrote were quite… raunchy.

_**Little bunny**__ wrote: Oh, man, let me tell you. Sherlock Holmes… he is the definition of perfection. I would give anything just to spend one night with him. Or better, a whole night. I would make sure that he wouldn't forget me and that night :) _

When John read that comment, he bursted out laughing, because he couldn't even imagine Sherlock dating somebody. And sleeping with somebody seemed even more ridiculous idea to John. John continued scrolling down the web page and he was entertaining himself with reading the comments about Sherlock.

_**Sherlock_is_my_life **__wrote: I saw Sherlock the other on the street. I think that he saw me, so I waved to him. I wonder if he remembered me. Oh the things I would let this man do to me. I want his d :D _

The doctor didn't know what to think about this comment. He found it a little bit too much. John decided that he would read only a few more comments, before closing the site, because this site was starting to bore him as well. It was the same thing repeating over and over. All those comments made him feel a bit uncomfortable and jealous? Was Sherlock so much better than John?

John let out a loud sigh. Just as he was ready to leave the site, something caught his attention. A short comment and a link underneath it.

_**Sherlocked **__wrote: Ahh, Johnlock, I swear these two make such a cute couple ^^_

John was staring at the comment for a few seconds, before finally understanding what the word "johnlock" meant. John's brain was trying to solve this puzzle.

Johnlock.

_Well, John is my name; this is obvious, _said John to himself. _But, a couple… who?_

John**lock**… John and Sher**lock**.

"Ohh" said John quietly to himself.

John didn't know what to think. What gave their "fans" an idea that they would make a good couple? No! Why would they even think that they were together? John couldn't understand. This whole thing seemed like a joke to John. However, John couldn't stop looking at the comment. And there was this link underneath this comment. John didn't know what to do. His mind was telling him to close the computer. But John was too curious to even look away. Before John could understand what was going to, he already clicked on the link.

John could feel that he was very nervous when the page was loading. John didn't know what to expect. However, nothing could prepare him to what he saw when the page loaded.

When the web page finally loaded, there was a huge picture. The picture was a drawing, on which there were Sherlock and John. Sherlock's arms were around John's waist, while John's were wrapped around Sherlock's neck and their lips were locked in an intense kiss.

When John saw the picture, he started coughing. This has caught him completely off guard. But John couldn't stop staring at the picture. Something about it has completely put John under a spell. However, after a few minutes of looking at the picture, he finally realized what was he doing and he immediately closed the web page. John wanted to die, because of the embarrassment. He has just spent entire 5 minutes looking at the picture of him and Sherlock snogging. John was just happy that he was alone in the apartment. If Sherlock would be standing behind him, John would be happy to dig his own grave.

John then got onto his legs and nervously started walking around the living room, trying to erase the picture out of his head. However, he wasn't very successful at that. The more that he wanted to think about something else, the more the curiosity started growing. John started thinking about this "johnlock". What if there was more where this came from?

John opened his computer again and then he quickly wrote _johnlock_ into the search bar. In the results there were numerous pages and John didn't know which one to click. He then decided to click onto the first one.

**Welcome to the fiction world of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson** said on the top of the page.

"Oh great, they even wrote stories about us" said John slightly annoyed.

Yet, he didn't close the page and he continued reading it. John wanted to know what people were writing about them. John didn't even know from where this need came. John was blaming his curiosity. John tried to convince himself that he was always curious. He knew that he didn't like Sherlock. He was just his friend and a flat mate. Period!

John spent about 20 minutes on the site. There were a lot of stories and people who wrote them. The amount of time that had to be put in all this work amazed John. However, John still wasn't sure if he should read those stories or not. Now it didn't bother him too much anymore that people thought that they were a couple. John didn't want to read the stories, because he feared what he would feel after reading them. Just that picture of him and Sherlock made him feel… weird? He couldn't explain the feeling, but it was something about it that amazed John so much that he couldn't stop looking at it.

He put his laptop onto a small table, next to him. John nervously stood up and started walking around the living room in circles, wondering if the best thing really was to close the computer and go out into a pub. Where was Sherlock when you needed him? John really wished that Sherlock would come back soon. Now not because he was bored, but because of the stories that he found. He knew that if Sherlock would be with him, John would quickly forget about silly things like these.

John sat down again and decided to read one of these stories. What could be the harm? John convinced himself that it wouldn't be anything wrong if he would just take a peek at one of those stories. John quickly clicked on one of those stories and waited for the page to load. When the web page opened, John started reading.

_John Watson, the army doctor, was sitting in the apartment. He was alone and just as lonely as the apartment was at that moment, so was John. John tried to convince himself that he was just bored, but deep inside he knew that he missed Sherlock. Sherlock was out on a date, with a woman called Irene Adler. John didn't want to admit to himself, but he hated that woman, because she was the one who stole Sherlock from him. Forever. John knew that she had to be really important, because she was the only woman, who caught Sherlock's attention._

John let out a loud sigh. Who the hell wrote this? It was so cheesy and just reading it, it made John really uncomfortable. How did these people even know about Irene Adler?! There must've been pretty hardcore fans...He continued reading for a bit, but there was too much text going on for John and the words started to bore him. John then scrolled down the page, until he finally came to conversation, apparently between him and Sherlock.

"_How was your date?" asked John, who tried to hide his jealousy. But he knew that Sherlock could read him like an open book._

"_What's wrong, John?" asked Sherlock with his deep voice, knowing that something was troubling his best friend._

"Oh god, this is just..." said John and shook his head. He scrolled almost until the end of the page, still forcing himself to read the story, which had to be written by a pretty young girl. John didn't even know if it was worth to continue reading this story.

John started scrolling down the page, because he was too lazy to read the entire dialog. And the story was really long as well. Finally, John gave up reading this story and decided to read another one. He opened a different story, a lot shorter this time. John seemed to be pleased with himself for just a few moments. However, his happiness disappeared as soon as he started reading the story. John quickly realized that this was a total opposite of the previous story. This one seemed to be more… detailed?

"_Sherlock, I-" said John and quickly looked away. He was too embarrassed to look Sherlock's face._

"_John, why are you avoiding me?" asked Sherlock, his eyes carefully studying all of Watson's reaction. _

"_You are just imagining things, Sherlock. I am not avoiding you. I've simply just been really busy these couple of weeks. You know, it's winter and a lot of people are sick, so I have to work a lot longer" said John, who was hoping that his lying was good enough to fool Sherlock._

"_No, it's not just that. Even when we're home… You are always running away from me. What is wrong?"_

"_Sherlock, just leave me alone" said John and shook his head._

"_No, I can't leave you alone" said Sherlock._

"_Why not?" asked John._

"_Because, I can't stop thinking about you, John. I think that I lo-"_

John stopped reading the story for a few seconds. John started looking around the living room, like he was trying to make sure that he was completely alone. John put his right palm against his own cheek and he could notice that his face was really hot. John was really embarrassed by now. Why would people write these kinds of things?!And Sherlock, confessing his feelings…

"These girls really should meet Sherlock in person. Maybe this way, they could finally understand what kind of person he is" whispered John and continued reading the story. He skipped the part when Sherlock told the John in that story that he had feelings for him. Watson didn't want to read that, because he knew that if he would read that, he could never look at Sherlock the same way as he did before.

"_Oh, Sherlock" happily said John, who still couldn't believe that Sherlock had the same feelings as he had. John wrapped his arms around Sherlock's neck and pulled them into a tight hug._

"_What are you doing?" carefully asked Sherlock, not returning John the hug._

"_I like you too, silly" said John._

"_You do? Since when?"_

John stopped reading again and quickly scrolled down the page. John could feel that his entire face was literally on fire, he was so embarrassed. John knew that reading these stories would be a huge mistake. John knew that this would have a huge impact on his relationship with Sherlock. John just hoped that it wouldn't make things too weird. After taking a few deep breaths, John continued reading.

_John's heart was beating really fast. Sherlock's face was too close to his. He could feel Sherlock's hot breath against his cheek. John swallowed, trying to calm his body down. He couldn't believe that just standing that close to Sherlock could make him feel this way. John saw that Sherlock's face was coming even closer to him. His heart jumped and John closed his eyes tightly. Sherlock smirked when he saw his flat mate's reaction. It was too adorable. John wanted to open his eyes to see why Sherlock was laughing, but before he could do that he felt Sherlock's lips pressed against his own. When their lips touched, John body gave in. John opened his lips, letting Sherlock slip his tongue inside of his mouth. When John felt Sherlock's tongue rubbing against his own, he let out a loud moan._

John decided that he finally had enough. This was too much for John. John cleared his throat a bit, trying to compose himself after what he had just read. John knew that his face was probably colored in a deep shade of red, because his body was feeling extremely hot. Then, the door behind him opened.

"I'm back, John" said Sherlock, with his deep voice and walked past John.

"Sherlock!" said John and quickly closed his laptop.

Sherlock then sat on the couch and gave Watson a suspicious look. John knew what that look meant, but he tried to ignore it. John tried to start a conversation, but every time he wanted to say something, nothing right would come out of his mouth. John started cursing at himself for reading those stories.

"John?" asked Sherlock and arched his left eyebrow.

John cleared his throat, ignoring Sherlock's last words and started talking: "So, how's the case going. Is it interesting?"

"Triple murder, a young family found murdered in their own house" said Sherlock a bit bored.

"It needs to be more complicated, if Lestrade needs you there" commented John, finally able to look at Sherlock's face.

"This murder is very similar to the one that happened a week ago. All of the victims were shot with the same gun as the previous victims" commented Sherlock.

"Another serial killer?"

"Most likely" slowly said Sherlock as his mouth curled in a small smile.

John shook his head. He knew that Sherlock loved when the cases were very weird and complicated. And if there was a serial killer, it felt like Christmas to Sherlock. As horrible as it sounded, John was already used to Sherlock's behavior and a small smile on Sherlock's lips didn't really surprise John anymore.

"I wrote a blog, while you were gone" said John.

"About?"

"Jenny; the girl who was killed by her boyfriend. You solved that case last week" said John.

Sherlock didn't give him a verbal answer; he just nodded in a reply. Then, he looked at John again very suspiciously. After a few seconds, Sherlock's eyes went huge and a small smirk crawled onto Sherlock's lips.

"What?"

"After you finished writing the blog, what did you do?"

"Nothing, why?" asked John, feeling the blood coming back into his cheeks.

"When I came in, your face was far too red. You must've been doing something else too" said Sherlock and then disappeared into his bedroom.

John wished that he could just disappear at that moment. He knew that Sherlock would be able to figure out that something was wrong. He always knew everything. Still, John didn't know what to do. Should he go after Sherlock and tell him that he was wrong and that nothing happened? However, John knew that Sherlock wouldn't buy his excuses, so he decided to leave it alone.

Later that day, John was busy with preparing himself a dinner. He cooked himself an egg and made himself a salad. John smiled happily as he put all of the food onto the kitchen table, which Sherlock finally cleaned up. Of course it took a lot of nagging from John and a lot of eye-rolling from Sherlock, but the table was finally clean and John was pretty happy with himself that he made Sherlock clean the table.

As soon as John started eating his delicious meal, Sherlock came from his bedroom and sat down, opposite of John.

"Did you make some tea?" asked Sherlock as his eyes were scanning the kitchen.

"No" answered John, licked his lips and continued: "You know, you can actually eat something for a change"

"Eating is boring" said Sherlock and pressed his lips together.

"And so is breathing and sleeping according to you" quietly said John to himself.

Sherlock arched his left eyebrow.

John cleared his throat and said: "Why couldn't I go together with you onto the crime scene today?" John really wanted an answer to that. Sherlock would always take John with him. It's not that it bothered John that much. It really didn't!

"I didn't need you this time"

John felt his heart drop a bit. John knew that Sherlock could probably manage just fine without him on the crime scenes. Even John didn't know why Sherlock was always dragging John around with him. But as the time passed, John got used to this and he didn't want to admit to himself, but he liked going around with Sherlock.

"And why is that?" asked John.

"I don't need you always" calmly answered Sherlock and watched John as he slowly put a small egg into his mouth.

"Yes, I know that. But you said that, you need me there, to prove a point" said John slowly.

"Not this time, John" said Sherlock, stood up and went into the living room. John quickly stuffed his mouth with food and followed Sherlock. Maybe Sherlock would tell him more about the case that he was working on, but he was mistaken. As soon as Sherlock stepped inside of their living room, he grabbed his violin and started playing to John an unfamiliar music. But John liked whenever Sherlock decided to play his violin. John sat down, closed his eyes and let the music fill his ears.

It was already late at night and John decided that it was finally the time to go to bed. He knew that Sherlock would probably spend the half of the night awake, even might not go to sleep at all.

"Well, it's late" said John and yawned. "I think that I'm going go to sleep"

Sherlock murmured something in response, because he was too busy with thinking about the case. Sherlock was lying on the couch, his eyes closed, while his brain were working with full speed.

"Well, goodnight" said John and looked at Sherlock, as if he was waiting to get a response from him. John should have known better. After a few moments of waiting, John let out a loud sigh, turned around and went to his bedroom.

* * *

**2 weeks later**

John was sitting on the couch, pretending to be writing something on his laptop. John wanted to write something into his blog, but every time that he started writing something, John couldn't focus on writing about it. John was constantly distracted by Sherlock. It all started after John read those stories about the two of them. John regretted it now, because he knew that the things between them were changed for good. Watson knew that Sherlock noticed John's odd behavior, but fortunately to John, Sherlock didn't say a word. John lifted his head, just to see where Sherlock was. Sherlock was in their kitchen, again making some experiment.

John stared at Sherlock longer than he should have. The doctor was almost completely sure that Sherlock noticed John's eyes paying too much attention to him. Just as he suspected, Sherlock almost immediately lifted his head and looked at John. However, John quickly looked away, pretending to be thinking about his blog. He was wondering if Sherlock knew what was happening to John.

John let out a loud sigh and closed his computer. He knew that there was no point in sitting with laptop in his lap if he couldn't write even a single word. John put his laptop onto a small table and lay down on the couch. John didn't understand why Sherlock was on his mind constantly. This didn't happen before he read all of those stupid stories. John didn't know if this actually meant something or if he was just too shocked about reading those stories about them.

John closed his eyes, still thinking about Sherlock and so-called "fanfiction", as the fans like to call it. Before reading them, John never thought of Sherlock in a romantic way. But now… things have clearly changed a lot. It's not that he was in love with Sherlock. It was just different. He even thought about how it would feel to kiss Sherlock. To hold Sherlock in his arms. John knew that he was now the one thinking like a teenage girl, but he couldn't stop wondering how it would feel like.

John heard a noise from the kitchen, so he quickly opened his eyes, to see what Sherlock was up to now. He saw that Sherlock must've finished his experiment, because he was nowhere to be seen in the kitchen. John got up and found Sherlock putting his coat on in Sherlock's bedroom. Sherlock was getting ready to go somewhere. Again, he didn't say a word to John. Was Sherlock again leaving alone?! Sherlock was leaving the house alone a lot lately. At first it didn't bother John, but now Watson started wondering if he had done something wrong.

"Where are you going?" asked John.

"Out. I need some air" was Sherlock's short reply. Sherlock then started buttoning his coat.

"Mind if I join you? I am really bored" said John and looked right into his friend's eyes, waiting for a reply.

"I would rather go alone this time. Maybe I'll go to Lestrade too. He said that he has another case for me" said Sherlock and started walking towards the door. At that moment, John had enough of Sherlock's lying. Something was definitely wrong. It had to be. John knew that Sherlock wasn't exactly good at being his best friend, but this was getting ridiculous. It's been a month, since they left the house together. Sherlock was going out alone on purpose.

"Why?" asked John slowly, tried not to sound too desperate.

"I can think better when I'm alone" said Sherlock, trying to get pass John, but John didn't move from bedroom's door.

"You've been doing this for almost a month now. I know that you're supposed to have your own life, but I don't get it. Before, you used to take me with you on your cases. You said that I helped you think. And now? Come on, Sherlock, we are friends!"

"I don't have friends, John. And we are not friends, we are colleges. You said so yourself, remember?"

"But this was such a long time ago!" said John, with much louder voice than he wanted.

Sherlock shook his head, grabbed John's left arm and pushed him away from the door. Sherlock quickly left his bedroom and started walking towards the entrance door.

"Fine, I hope you have a nice time _alone_. I won't bother you anymore". Something in John snapped. Watson knew that he was acting very childish and he wished that he could control his emotions as well as Sherlock did sometimes. Just for a second, the expression on Sherlock's face changed. Sherlock looked really hurt, but only for a second. Then, Sherlock put his emotionless mask on, which he was usually wearing.

"Well then, see you later, John" said Sherlock and left their flat.

"Why even bother!" said John, grabbed his computer and locked himself into his own bedroom.

After a few moments, when John finally calmed down, he opened his computer and opened his blog. John knew that Sherlock would be out for hours again and he didn't know what to do. He was too lazy and angry to write a post into his blog. Maybe he could blog about how obnoxious his flat mate is? No, this would be too childish. John wasn't a child after all. Then what was else for him to do? A dangerous idea popped into his mind.

_No, those stories already messed up me completely_, said John completely. But what was the harm? The damage was already done, so would it really be that bad if he would go and read a couple more of those stories? After all, John needed to figure out what was happening to him and why was he constantly thinking of Sherlock.

John opened the internet and nervously rubbed his palms together, before writing _johnlock_ into the search bar. He patiently waited until the site loaded and then he started searching for a good story. He needed something real… All of the stories he read last time were too embarrassing and far from reality. After a half hour search, John finally found what looked like a good story. It was a bit long, because it had a lot of chapter. But since John had a lot of free time on his hands, he decided to read it.

The story started pretty normal, describing Sherlock's and John's normal day. They were investigating a really hard murder and the description of Sherlock was stop on. This is why John didn't stop reading the story.

John was reading the same story for about an hour and a half and he really liked it. In the story, the two characters already started having feelings for each other. It didn't bother John too much, because it was very well written. However, John couldn't ignore that all of what the John was feeling in the story; John in real life could feel too. Those made John feel a bit awkward, because he was finally admitting to himself that he might be falling for Sherlock. John stopped reading the story for a few moments. He stood up, because his body was starting to hurt him. Especially his back. He was lying on the bed for a long time.

John unlocked his bedroom and stepped outside. His eyes started searching Sherlock, but they couldn't find him. This didn't worry John too much. He knew that hours will pass until Sherlock would return to their flat. John took a glass from the cupboard and poured himself a glass of water. After he drank it, John quickly returned to his room, not forgetting to lock the door.

John returned to the story. After a few more chapters, the actions between Sherlock and John were getting… a lot racier than John thought they would get. John could feel that his body was getting hot and he could feel a tingly sensation in his stomach. John then swallowed hard as the description of the next chapter said _This chapter is rated mature. Read it, but don't judge, because you've been warned. The things get really… hot between Sherlock and Watson. _

John was sitting in silence, tapping his fingers on his laptop. What should he do? John knew that reading the chapter wouldn't do anything good to his relationship with Sherlock. But John wanted to read the chapter so bad. Not only wanted, he needed to read it.

_John was sitting alone in his bedroom. Sherlock was in another room, playing his violin. John wanted that Sherlock would be there with him._

"_Sherlock, can you please come here" said John nervously. The sound of the violin stopped as John could feel the footsteps coming closer to his room. _

"_What's wrong?" slowly asked Sherlock._

"_Nothing. I just wanted you here" said John and grinned._

_Sherlock smiled back and sat on the bed, next to John. Sherlock put his arm onto John's chest. John's heart was racing. Sherlock smiled and he was amazed that just his touch could do this to John. But Sherlock wanted to do with John so much more. Sherlock wanted to kiss John. Not only his lips, but his whole body. He wanted to make John scream, because of the pleasure._

John swallowed roughly as he could feel that his throat was really dry and his heart's speed was slowly getting faster. John licked his lips and placed his own hand onto his chest, imagining that Sherlock was touching him. As soon as John realized how silly he was, he quickly put his hand onto his computer and shook his head.

"_Sherlock..." whispered John and looked directly at Sherlock._

"_Yes?" asked Sherlock with his velvet voice and smirked. Sherlock leaned closer to John and placed a quick kiss on John's lips. John smiled and returned his boyfriend a little longer kiss this time. Sherlock then put his right arm on John's neck and kissed John properly, pulling them even closer. Sherlock licked John's lips and John finally opened his mouth. Sherlock pushed his tongue into John's mouth, slowly tasting him. John let out a loud moan._

John lightly put his fingers onto his lips. He didn't even know that he was doing that. What would kissing Sherlock really feel like? Is Sherlock a good kisser? He probably was, since he's brilliant at everything he does.

_Sherlock slowly removed John's shirt. John blushed as Sherlock did that. When Sherlock's cold fingers came in contact with John's warm skin, John let out a quiet gasp- Sherlock was now kissing John's neck, his lips travelling lower and lower. They finally stopped at out of John's nipples. Sherlock's tongue slowly started playing with it, making John moan and slowly losing his mind. Sherlock then put his palm on John's stomach and started drawing small circles, while he was kissing John. John ran his fingers through Sherlock's hair. He felt absolutely amazing. Also he could feel that lower parts of his body slowly started reacting to Sherlock's touches and kisses._

John cleared his throat. He could feel the presence of blood in his cheeks. His fingers were still on his lips, and his other hand started to travel lower. He let his hand rest on his stomach, imaging that it was Sherlock's. God, it felt amazing. John closed his eyes. He could feel Sherlock's mouth on his neck. He could feel how Sherlock was licking the skin on his neck. John let out a loud sigh and forced himself to open his eyes. He didn't want to do this. He couldn't… fantasize about his friend. John quickly stopped touching himself, trying to focus on the actual story than his own pleasure.

_Sherlock smirked, when he heard John moan. John's moans were addicting. Sherlock needed to hear more of them, so he sucked John's neck a bit rougher this time, leaving a mark. John loved it when Sherlock left marks on him. It made him Sherlock's. Only his. John moaned louder, grabbed Sherlock's face and kissed him hard._

"_A little impatient, aren't we?" said Sherlock._

_John could only nod. Sherlock slided two of his fingers behind the waistband of John's jeans. John was in heaven by then. Everything around him disappeared. All that he wanted was Sherlock. _

"_Oh, god" whispered John._

_Sherlock's fingers were travelling even lower. However, Sherlock took his time and did this painfully slowly. He loved teasing John. And John knew what Sherlock was up to. He, on the other hand, didn't enjoy this as much as Sherlock did. This was, Sherlock just made him even more embarrassed and waiting to be properly touched was excruciating._

"_Don't do that" said John. His voice was shaking._

"_Do what?" asked Sherlock, clearly pretending not to know a thing._

"_You know too well what" said John angrily. But he wasn't really angry at Sherlock. He just wanted that Sherlock would finally touch him down there._

_Sherlock opened the button of John's jeans and opened the zipper._

"_My, my… isn't somebody happy to see me?" asked Sherlock with a smirk on his face._

"_Shut up!" said John. He knew that he was already hard and Sherlock's comments only made him more aroused._

_Sherlock then finally gently placed his palm against John's member. When John felt the touch of Sherlock's hand through his boxers, he shut his eyes and took a deep breath._

John was breathing very heavily by now. He could feel that he was already really hard and he wanted to touch himself badly. The need was so big at that time, that he completely forgot everything that he said to himself earlier. He loudly cursed, took his pants off and pressed his palm against his erection. John let out a loud sigh. It felt absolutely amazing. John was slowly massaging the hardness in his boxer, while imagining that Sherlock was the one touching him and caressing his whole body.

"_More!" said John._

_Sherlock nodded and removed John's boxers. Then he slowly wrapped his long fingers around John's erection and slowly started sliding his fingers up and down. After a few seconds passed by, Sherlock's tempo increased._

"_Oh god, Sherlock. Fuck, this feels so-"_

John wrapped his hands around his own erection and started slowly pumping it. John's moans were growing louder. John was just happy that he was home alone. If Sherlock would be also home, he would hear him. John's grip around his cock tightened and his tempo also increased.

"Sherlock..." said John between moans.

Then the door of the flat opened.

"John?"

Sherlock was home. Shit! But John couldn't stop now. Just hearing Sherlock call his name once was almost enough to push him over the edge. John bit his lower lip, as he wanted to quiet down his moans.

"John?" said Sherlock again, who was searching for John.

This was enough for John. He spilled his semen all over his hand. As the wave of pleasure hit him, he put his free hand onto his mouth. John then quickly pulled a box of tissues out of his wardrobe and quickly cleaned himself up. He was still breathing very heavy, but he decided to speak to Sherlock after all.

"Yes?" asked John with his shaking and raspy voice. His body was still shaking because of the pleasure.

"We need to talk" said Sherlock.

"Now?" asked John, who couldn't face Sherlock today.

"Is something wrong?"

"I-... I'm not feeling well, I'm resting. We'll talk some other day, okay?"

"Fine" said Sherlock with a strange voice and John heard that the footsteps disappeared into the kitchen. What the hell was that voice? Sherlock sounded so sad and broken? John quickly shook his head. He had to be just imagining things. John then threw himself onto the bed and tried to cope with all the feelings and the questions. Was he really falling for Sherlock?

* * *

**One month later**

John was washing the dishes after lunch. After he finished and let out a loud sigh and looked at the living room. It was empty; Sherlock was again in his bedroom. Lately, he spent a lot of time there and the things between him and John were still bad. They weren't talking anymore at all. After that day when Sherlock tried to apologize to him. John tried talking to Sherlock, but Sherlock completely ignored his apologies. Sherlock was still solving the cases alone. John didn't even bother asking anymore what was wrong.

But all of the ignoring coming from Sherlock really hurt John. John finally had to admit to himself that he liked Sherlock in a romantic way. He didn't mind it too much. Even though John always dated girls, having a crush on a man didn't seem too different to John. He even tried to tell to Sherlock a few times, but he was always pushed away. John even tried following Sherlock a few times to see where he was going without him. However, Sherlock knew that he was followed and John always lost him in a big crowd or in dead ends. After a few tries, John stopped following Sherlock.

But there had to be something wrong with Sherlock! It's not only that Sherlock has been completely ignoring him, but even Lestrade asked John a few times if something happened between them. Lestrade said that Sherlock always seemed to be really distracted on the crime scenes. John didn't know what to say to Lestrade, so he only told his that he and Sherlock had a fight. And it wasn't even a big one. Knowing Sherlock and his lack of emotions, there had to be something far more serious.

John let out a loud sigh. He didn't know what to do. He tried absolutely everything. And now he even liked Sherlock! What could he do, confess? No, Sherlock would only laugh at him and not believe him at all. So telling Sherlock how he really felt was out of limits. John tried to convince himself that his feelings for Sherlock would eventually fade away. It's not like he was head over heels in love with Sherlock. But John did notice that his feelings for Sherlock were growing dangerously strong with each day passing by.

John then heard quiet sounds coming from Sherlock's room. Sherlock was talking to somebody. John quietly tip-toed closer to Sherlock's bedroom and started listening to Sherlock's conversation. Maybe this way he will finally learn what is wrong with Sherlock. After a few seconds of listening, he realized that Sherlock was talking to his brother. John frowned. Sherlock rarely communicated with his own brother. And even when he did, it was only in texts.

"Mycroft, you don't understand. I can't do this anymore" said Sherlock.

"_You can't do what anymore?" _

"This… living with John, it's too difficult" said Sherlock.

John could feel that his heart was starting to beat faster. Did Sherlock really hate him? John covered his mouth, trying to control his breathing. He couldn't risk being caught, because this way Sherlock would only be angrier with him. But why was so difficult to live with John?! Will Sherlock move?

"_So what will you?"_

"I think it's for the best if I move away" said Sherlock quietly.

"_And what exactly will you tell to Watson?"_

Sherlock rubbed his forehead. "I will think of something… New job offer, not having enough money to pay my share of the rent. It's not too difficult to make something up"

"_Sherlock, this is not the right way to do this. John at least deserves to hear the truth"_

"I did everything you said. You said that ignoring him will help, but it didn't. I am more distracted than I've ever been in my entire life. And it's all John's fault" said Sherlock and ran his fingers through his black curls.

John came a bit closer to the door, because he wanted to hear properly what Sherlock was talking with Mycroft. So Sherlock really was avoiding him on purpose. But what did John do?! John tried to remember if he did something that would've hurt Sherlock's feelings but he couldn't think of anything.

"I… I tried to get rid of those feelings. I even stopped taking him with me on the crime scenes, because I couldn't focus on the case. I was only paying attention to him. But solving the cases without him… I don't like it either" said Sherlock and shook his head.

"_You need to deal with your feelings!"_

"No" helplessly replied Sherlock. "I don't want to, because I am afraid of what will I become. This was not supposed to happen; I having feelings for somebody accept my work. Before, work was all I had, but now I can't even do my work properly because of John"

John was listening to their conversation with his eyes wide opened. He put a palm on his lips, to stop his heavy breathing. John could hear a bell ringing in his head, he was that shocked. He had never imagined that Sherlock Holmes would have feelings for him. On the other hand, John was relieved actually knowing that Sherlock didn't hate him. Plus John had similar feelings for Sherlock, so it wasn't that bad. Maybe actually something good could come out of this. If Sherlock would listen to him.

"_Sherlock, it's very clear that you have strong feelings for John. You love him, Sherlock, don't you?"_

"I'm not capable of love, Mycroft" said Sherlock, who sounded so broken and desperate.

"_Clearly you are"_

"I can't pretend anymore. It's too much."

"_Have you ever considered telling him?"_

"Of course not. John's not attracted to men. And even if he did fancy me… what would I do? Go out with him? Mycroft, don't be stupid" said Sherlock and shook his head.

"_Why not?"_

"You can't be serious, Mycroft. Have you met me? I'm not the dating type, now am I?" said Sherlock with louder voice.

John took a few steps closer to the door again. But this time he wasn't as careful as he was before, because his feet made a noise. John knew that Sherlock would hear him, Sherlock's eyes were very fast and his hearing was very sharp. John swallowed hard and prepared himself to face Sherlock. John closed his eyes for a few seconds and he could hear that Sherlock stopped talking. That meant only one thing; Sherlock knew that somebody was standing in front of his bedroom.

"Who's there?" asked Sherlock, with a weak voice.

John didn't reply. He was too afraid to even move. He wondered what Sherlock would do to him?! John knew Sherlock and he was very nervous. Did he ruin things between them for good now? John's heart beat only increased at this thought.

"John?" tried Sherlock again.

John took a deep breath and decided to open the door. Sherlock quickly turned around. His body froze. How long was John standing there? Sherlock's hands were trembling and he quickly said to his brother: "M-Mycroft, I'll call you back later". Sherlock's voice was shaking really badly. Sherlock swallowed hard, looking at John and waiting to see what his reaction would be.

John didn't say anything; he didn't even dare to look at Sherlock. John's eyes were focused on the bedroom's floor as he was still trying to calm himself down. Maybe Sherlock's reaction wouldn't be so bad? He did have feelings for John after all. Because John wasn't saying anything and just looking at the floor, Sherlock was slowly running out of patience.

"How long have you been listening?" asked Sherlock. His voice was absolutely terrible.

John forced himself to look at Sherlock. The sight of Sherlock broke John's heart. John could see that Sherlock was as uncomfortable and nervous as he was. Maybe even more. Sherlock looked broken and John knew why. Sherlock always hid his feelings well before others. He locked everything that he felt inside of him. And now seeing that somebody saw his true feelings… It must've been really hard for Sherlock. John rubbed his palms together and licked his lower lip.

"Not long" said John.

"How much did you hear?" asked Sherlock, who was afraid of John's answer. John noticed that Sherlock's body was shaking. At that moment, all that John wanted to give Sherlock a tight hug.

"Enough" shortly replied John.

"Y-You… You've heard absolutely everything? I mean, you know what I was talking about with Mycroft?" asked Sherlock, making sure that this was real.

John nodded and took a few steps closer to Sherlock. But as John did that, Sherlock took a few steps back. Why was Sherlock still doing this? Why couldn't Sherlock for a change let John in? What was Sherlock so afraid of? Maybe Sherlock was so afraid of having his heart broken. Maybe something has happened to Sherlock before, and he decided not to love again in his entire life. John didn't know the answer to these questions, but he didn't have any intentions of asking Sherlock. The only thing that John needed to do at this moment was to tell Sherlock how he felt for him. He needed to convince Sherlock that he didn't hate him.

"Yes, I did. But Sherlock-"

"Oh, god" said Sherlock and said onto his bed. He buried his face into his palms and tried to control his breathing.

"Sherlock, there's nothing wrong if you-"

"I ruined things between us, didn't I?" interrupted Sherlock, lifting his head.

"No"

"Oh please, don't try to make me feel better. Why don't you just let me be? It's your fault. Everything is your fault" spat Sherlock and got onto his legs.

"You need to hear me. I need to tell you something. You're not the only one who-" tried John again, but Sherlock interrupted John again.

"Get out!" said Sherlock, stepped closer to John, grabbed John's arm and tried dragging John out of his bedroom. Even though Sherlock was much taller, John was faster than him and quickly pushed Sherlock away.

"No, we need to talk! Don't you see, this is important? Why are you always pushing me away every time I try to help you? And this isn't only about you" said John angrily. John knew that Sherlock's behavior shouldn't surprise him anymore, but this time it really made him angry.

"I don't need your help, John. I don't need you to feel sorry for me" said Sherlock.

"I know, but… can you please and try to listen to me?" asked John, softly this time.

Sherlock sat onto his bed and John sat down next to him. John noticed that Sherlock was carefully studying every John's move and this only made John feel more nervous. Just knowing that Sherlock's blue eyes were on him, it made John blush and his body was getting to feel warmer.

"So, what I wanted to say is..." started John, but he lost all the ability of talking.

"You're blushing" said Sherlock. He sounded really amused.

John's blush got darker. Sherlock was onto him! He couldn't believe that Sherlock could read him like an open book. Was John really that obvious?! But then again… maybe this would make John to tell Sherlock that he also liked him.

"Great deduction, Mr. Holmes" said John and rolled his eyes. "This is exactly what I've been trying to tell you. You're not the only one who… has feelings for-". John took a deep breath. The words were leaving his mouth painfully slowly.

John looked at Sherlock and he could see that Sherlock's eyes were getting huge. Sherlock was surprised! So he didn't know that?!

"What I'm trying to say is… I like you too" finally said John. John then finally allowed himself to breathe again. After he told Sherlock how he really felt, John felt amazing and 100 pounds lighter. John then found Sherlock's hand with his own and lightly touched it. He took Sherlock's left hand into his own hands and slowly started caressing it. When Sherlock looked at John, John smiled. He was happy.

Sherlock enjoyed the warmth of John's hands, but this wouldn't work out. Sherlock quickly removed his hand.

"This won't work out. Us" said Sherlock.

"Why not?"

"I'm not what you want. I can't give you what you want. You'll only get hurt..." murmured Sherlock.

"Sherlock, I know who you are and I don't want you to change. This is why I like you and I am not asking you to be anybody else. So can you please stop pushing me away and finally let me in. I'm not going to hurt you, if this is what you are so afraid of" gently said John and gently touched Sherlock's left cheek.

"I know that" said Sherlock and closed his eyes. It was obvious that he liked John's touch. John chuckled as he touched Sherlock's soft locks.

John placed his other hand onto Sherlock's right cheek and with his thumb he slowly started caressing it. John's hand travelled to Sherlock's mouth. With his fingers, John lightly touched Sherlock's lips. Sherlock slightly opened them and let out a quiet gasp. John looked up and saw that Sherlock's eyes were still closed.

John then put one of his hands behind Sherlock's neck and the other travelled to Sherlock's chest and decided to rest there for a while. John pulled them closer and he placed one kiss onto Sherlock's cheek. Because Sherlock didn't say anything, John continued kissing Sherlock's other cheek, his nose and forehead. John then pulled back a little, giving Sherlock some space. John chewed his bottom lip as he waited Sherlock to open his eyes.

Sherlock finally opened his eyes and John's heart started beating faster. What will Sherlock say? John searched for any kind of emotion in Sherlock's eyes, but he couldn't tell what Sherlock was thinking.

"Why did you stop?" asked Sherlock.

"I didn't know that you wanted more" whispered John, smiled and got closer to Sherlock once again.

John then kissed the corner of Sherlock's mouth. Knowing what was following next, Sherlock closed his eyes. John's look was not focused on Sherlock's lips. God, he wanted to kiss them. To taste them. John licked his own mouth and then finally gently put them onto Sherlock's. The first couple of kisses were very careful. It didn't take long for Sherlock to return John a kiss. As Sherlock returned John a kiss, the army doctor's heart almost melted. Sherlock put one of his arms around John's waist and pulled them even closer. After a few more kisses, John broke their kiss, because his lungs were desperate to get some air.

"Okay, let's give this a try" finally agreed Sherlock.

John smiled and kissed Sherlock again. John knew that having a relationship with Sherlock won't be easy. There would be times when they won't get along, but John was ready for everything. John didn't even think about future. All that mattered at that time was he and Sherlock sharing another kiss.

**End**


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